Friendships after having kids
In recent years, since having kids, I've been able to look back at the friendships that have come and gone - and this process is a natural occurrence throughout our lives. For whatever reasons, people come and go and everyone's circumstances change meaning that sometimes you filter through the 'crap' so to speak.
Before having kids my life consisted of getting drunk Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday. Definitely not the most responsible lifestyle, but hey it was fun at the time and I was young! (back when I could rebound from a hang over!) Looking back, a good portion of my friendship circle consisted of people who I either met at the pub or only hung out with at the pub! I still had friends that I saw on more calmer social occasions such as movies, dinners etc., but life back then was about nightclubs, pubs and parties!
Since having the two boys I have noticed a slow trend in people that you once thought were your friends slowly drift out of your life. From my own personal experiences, the people who were 'all about the drinking' are the first to drop off. No longer are your weekends filled with binge drinking and shots at the bar, but I think I'm beginning to value just what it is like to have a family that I'd rather spend the weekend devoted to! And hell, as you get older the hang overs last longer and to be honest the kids don't understand why you are lying on the couch telling them to be quiet... sometimes, it just isn't worth it.
But this is where the true friends come in to play. The friends who love you no matter what, the friends that are happy to see the development in your life, and the friends that can adapt to every situation whether it be talking about work, footy or that one time when the kid did a shit on you in the shower. Those are the friends that are important. Value those sorts of people, and get rid of the rest. Time is too precious, and not worth wasting time on people that aren't interested in the development of your life - all stages!
So, I think it's something that people need to be prepared for when having kids for the first time. Some people in your friendship circle are only there for certain reasons sometimes; whether that be the people you go out to the clubs with, the ones you used to smoke bongs with or whatever... they are a negative impact on your life sometimes and life is too short to surround yourself with people like this and just focus on the people that truly care.
It's a sad circle that you go through, and unfortunately for myself, having male friends that are happy to sit and chat about kids and the experiences that go with it are far and few between. But hey, the group of mates I do have are the greatest people around. So, advice... surround yourself with like minded people or the people who actually show an interest in the development of your life and just be prepared that not everyone loves kids, and that's okay, but you just may find that these people are the ones that will slowly leave your life.
Before having kids my life consisted of getting drunk Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday. Definitely not the most responsible lifestyle, but hey it was fun at the time and I was young! (back when I could rebound from a hang over!) Looking back, a good portion of my friendship circle consisted of people who I either met at the pub or only hung out with at the pub! I still had friends that I saw on more calmer social occasions such as movies, dinners etc., but life back then was about nightclubs, pubs and parties!
Since having the two boys I have noticed a slow trend in people that you once thought were your friends slowly drift out of your life. From my own personal experiences, the people who were 'all about the drinking' are the first to drop off. No longer are your weekends filled with binge drinking and shots at the bar, but I think I'm beginning to value just what it is like to have a family that I'd rather spend the weekend devoted to! And hell, as you get older the hang overs last longer and to be honest the kids don't understand why you are lying on the couch telling them to be quiet... sometimes, it just isn't worth it.
But this is where the true friends come in to play. The friends who love you no matter what, the friends that are happy to see the development in your life, and the friends that can adapt to every situation whether it be talking about work, footy or that one time when the kid did a shit on you in the shower. Those are the friends that are important. Value those sorts of people, and get rid of the rest. Time is too precious, and not worth wasting time on people that aren't interested in the development of your life - all stages!
So, I think it's something that people need to be prepared for when having kids for the first time. Some people in your friendship circle are only there for certain reasons sometimes; whether that be the people you go out to the clubs with, the ones you used to smoke bongs with or whatever... they are a negative impact on your life sometimes and life is too short to surround yourself with people like this and just focus on the people that truly care.
It's a sad circle that you go through, and unfortunately for myself, having male friends that are happy to sit and chat about kids and the experiences that go with it are far and few between. But hey, the group of mates I do have are the greatest people around. So, advice... surround yourself with like minded people or the people who actually show an interest in the development of your life and just be prepared that not everyone loves kids, and that's okay, but you just may find that these people are the ones that will slowly leave your life.
Comments
Post a Comment